Female Orgasm Have Sex, or Have the Big One  -- You Decide.

A guide to the difference between sex and extraordinary orgasm for women

Here’s a question that has plagued medical science for ages:  if sexual pleasure for both males and females is the evolutionary guarantee that they’ll get together and procreate, why isn’t female orgasm as much of a foregone conclusion as men’s? 

Recent studies indicate that female orgasm does, indeed, contribute to the likelihood of conception.  Her orgasmic contractions may serve to help propel sperm toward her eggs, and some are heartened to think that a biological basis for female pleasure means somehow it’s OK to spend more time, resources and research on it.  Be that as it may, female orgasm has always been in the category of “Nice, but not necessary.” 

If one is talking about reproduction only, that is.

If we’re talking about individuals or couples experiencing something on the divine sexual plane, however, all that becomes irrelevant.  The point is, extraordinary, other-worldly pleasure is possible for women – and in that case, why not go for it?

The super-sexual woman

Most of us know women who are all about sex – always wanting it, getting it, enjoying it and, sometimes to our irritation, bragging about it.  These exotic creatures talk about orgasm every time, in every position, with any partner, and it’s always off-the-charts.  Though we’re tempted to say, “yeah, bullshit” to their Big Talk, the fact is that it’s true – there absolutely are women who have it, love it, and fly with it on a regular basis. 

In some ideal world, where there is no hormonal imbalance, fatigue, emotional baggage, traumatic past or disconnected present, all women are super-sexual.  All women have the capability of enjoying sex and orgasm on that outrageous level.  Yet many don’t or can’t or won’t get there. 

Sexual fears and frustrations

The female sexual cycle is rooted in psychology even more than men’s.  While men often succumb to “performance anxiety” or other fears that derail their sexual abilities, women have deep needs for closeness and security that either have to be met or overcome to some extent; they also confront a host of emotional requirements or voids when engaging in sex; and their hormonal patterns change throughout their lifetimes.

Expectations and relationship thinking – Women are somewhat hard-wired to desire an emotional connection along with their sexual activity.  But more and more, the variations on the paradigm are changing and spreading out all over the map. To oversimplify, we could say that there are two kinds of sexually fulfilled women:  those whose relationships match up with their needs for intimacy and security, and those who have more or less transcended the link between sex and emotion. 

The former group gets emotional needs met (at least some of the time) by their partner, so that sex is a positive forum for self-expression and enjoyment.  The latter group may have an attitude somewhere along the continuum that stretches from “It’s nice to be with someone I enjoy” to  “I love sex and I don’t need to be in a relationship to totally enjoy it.”

For either category, there are huge opportunities for new, greater pleasure.  We’ll get to those later in this article. 

If there are sexual problems within the confines of an otherwise healthy relationship, look to some of the explanations that follow.

Traumatic past – A distressingly high percentage of the women in America have been sexually molested or abused. Many of them work back to healthy sexual attitudes and experiences either on their own or through counseling, but for some, the pain lingers and shows up in unexpected ways later.  Best recommendation: soft, easy, gentle approaches – or perhaps, the exploration of the dark side, the edgy part of love with a true partner.  Men in this relationship: pile on the love, the care, the softness, the all-about-her-ness, and be open to the possibility that she’ll want to explore the outer world of pain and pleasure, forcible sex and maybe even some shocking expressions.  Through it all, enjoy, and follow up with loving reinforcement. Women in this situation:  have no fear of all the things that make you who you are.  If you have shut-down moments, that is, times when sexual response is interrupted by your deeply hidden past, explore those things on your own.  Use a heat-based stimulant, like Vigorelle and take your time with yourself.  Openly embrace those things that make you feel good, even if they seem unsavory at first.  See where it leads you.

Hormonal problems

Childbirth, aging and a number of other health issues can cause a disruption of hormones that lead to inadequate sexual response.  A doctor can help women address the underlying hormonal causes, and may even prescribe hormonal treatments that bring the condition under control.  However, even for women in treatment for hormonal problems, there are a number of good, natural cures:  Provestra, an all-natural supplement that works to bring women’s hormones back into balance and to boost the libido; and topical oils or lubes like Vigorelle, that contain transdermal ingredients in close contact with the genitals for immediate sexual boosting effects.

Another incredible help for women is GenF20HGH, a great supplement that not only boosts libido, but also addresses all the systems of the body to bring a woman’s entire equilibrium back to a youthful, vibrant level. 

Relationship issues

When love goes sour, the first casualty is in the bedroom. Why?  Because women attach so much importance to love and romance, that when those things are compromised, she may have trouble making the leap to sexuality.  Experienced men know that they must keep their woman’s sexuality alive to keep her drawn to them -- and in fact, keeping the sexual spark going may just be the thing that keeps couples connected through the tough times.  If you’re in a relationship where there appears to be a threat to your sex life, it makes sense to do what you can to keep love alive.

Secret ingredients

Here are a few good additions to your love toolbox:

Vigorelle crème – a nice, sweet and slightly warming crème to add lubrication and heat to her private parts.  Nice surprise when given by a beloved partner or used in any type of hot action

Provestra - As a daily rev-up to the woman’s libido, this all-natural, herbal-based supplement nourishes the entire female reproductive system.  So powerful, a popular herbal guidebook listed it with this warning:  May dramatically increase libido.

Taking charge

Bottom line, despite all the other things we can offer in terms of a woman’s sex life, the best thing of all is for the woman to take charge of her own pleasure.  By that we mean: any fantasy is OK, whether you involve your partner or not.  Any method of achieving orgasm is OK ( so long as no one else is hurt).  Anything the woman wishes to bring to the bedroom that will encourage her pleasure, right on.

Here are a couple of things known to help:

Communication:  How do you like it? Women can speak up, either with words, or by making moves and gently guiding her mate’s hands, mouth and body to the places she likes best.  Men can discover the things she likes by being bold and creative – and then carefully listening to and watching her response. Hard and wild?  Soft, loving and careful?  Men are encouraged to try things, be daring, be bold, be creative; do we need to tell you that she’ll let you know when you oughta stop or are off base? 

Openness:  Women, be frank about the exact moment things come undone – and say so in a clear way without blaming.  It’s helpful to just say, “this is what happened” when it comes to sex, and then explore it together, asking things like, what’s up with that?  Or “could we try it again this other way?”   It isn’t helpful to say, “you made me” OR “you were so stupid when…” (.. fill in the blanks..)  The thing is, women and men both have to come from a place of understanding that, of course, their partner wants to please them.  Give one another this benefit of the doubt, introduce some new elements like Vigorelle, and see what happens.